Epicenter

Lately at work I find myself literally surrounded in all directions by female colleagues of all shapes sizes and stations in life.

Sometimes the glut of oestrogen is suffocating. One hapless woman shows up early to work with a bad mood left over from the domestic battlefront, and every other woman syncs into that exact mood quickly. Next thing I know I'm a front seat observer at a third rate drama-thriller poorly disguised as a professional workplace environment.

Sometimes I become the center of attention. It doesn't help that my quirks are so eccentric that many things I find myself doing absentmindedly make ME laugh. I'm only now getting used to myself. Their favorite pastime is ganging up to tell me I should marry. Nowadays I just agree and ask for their little sisters' numbers.

A part of me understands though. The girls need an outlet for their girlishness. They can't share gossip forever. I'm a sitting target in their midst, a sounding board for how far their minds have deviated from practical sanity. But the femmes enjoy trying to annoy/provoke me purely for its own sake. I've never understood that bit. One wishes I had been born her small brother and takes every opportunity to harangue me about all my life choices and yet she is no saint. Even the mousy homely one among them plucks up enough courage to interfere with my settled peace of mind whenever her fancies grip her. Another one went so far as to throw tantrums when I refused to comply with her frivolous attention-grabbing gimmicks, got frustrated at length, forgot her wits, attempted to drag me in my seat from my desk.

There are a few other guys around but they are not thus maltreated. They say its my fault I'm playful and accomodating. I should try being fierce and angry. They tell me I could be sleeping with these women colleagues if I wanted. I tell them I will never do that again.

There is a line these ladies do not cross with me, despite all the liberties they take. I was oblivious to this fact until another female colleague told me "When you enter the room these people behave." They think I am their agreeable brother.