Monday, September 27, 2010

Turf Wars: Unforeseen Consequences

Anyone who knows anything about women should contact me and give me a speech, for I might be foolish in that realm, if indications are to be relied upon, which I advise against.

Having invited GalPal to my room, and she having turned up, we sat side by side close to each other and went over the formalities of greetings, and then there was a heavy and expectant silence and eye-to eye, but suddenly, I remembered my duties as a host and asked her to wait a while. And I vanished into the kitchen.

GalPal assumed a comfortable position on my bed, stretching herself on my duvet and giving the Al Jazeera Channel a dead stare. It distantly occurred to me that gentle music would have set the mood, but I remembered that since we were just friends, Al Jazeera would keep the ambience very businesslike, so I left it there. I was using this time to scramble together a light snack, but I ended up rushing up and down to bring back what eventually turned out to be full-blown lunch, the preparation of which was constantly interrupted by GalPal’s interjections about not being hungry and wanting me to join her and feeling sleepy but my uniform response to all these things was “In a minute.”

During and after the meal she failed to comment on my cooking but I like to think she ate with relish.

The time eventually came when we could lie on the single bed in friendly relaxation and watch Al Jazeera to update ourselves on the pertinent issues informing political dynamics in today’s chaotic world. Nothing of the sort happened. Space being scarce, we sought a place to put our hands. I decided to clasp her hand to save space. Suddenly, a manic force possessed her and she spun on me, pinned me down and straddled me in one move.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

After overcoming the surprise from the attack, I seized her and pinned her down easily and effortlessly. “I thought you’d say no.”

I saw panic in her eyes – and she stuttered. “I haven’t said yes!”

A warning bell went off in my head so I let go of her wrists and began to go away. But she grabbed my neck and we fell to kissing and rolling about – which struck me as a yes, if an ill-defined one. I drew the line at making out, even if the curves of her body encouraged me unceasingly to shift that line, and the heat of passion was escalating rather too fast to pretend that any line was going to be braked at.
After a while, GalPal practically sprung away from me with a look of alarm on her face. Soon, I too was alarmed when I also realized that Angela had simply walked into the room and quietly positioned herself at a corner I like to call The Office. Neither of us knew how long she had been there staring or how she’d come in without being noticed; leave alone how she knew to come. GalPal and I goggled at her with mouths open and I scratched my head in confusion.

“Hi BFF!” exclaimed GalPal in a strangled tone, with shock all over her face and her eyes wide open.
“My room, now!” ordered Angela, unmoved, cold, her arms and legs crossed.

GalPal upped and left in double-quick time, leaving me staring at Angela glaring at me in my own room.

1 comment:

  1. Ah bana. That mama likes you. Both,I mean. :o) Is how she's so random? Is how with all that slowness?!! For leaving shoes outside!!! Nkt!!

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