Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Long distance relationship

She's too far away.
Your meetings are never long enough.
Body language is lost in cellular transmission.
Can you trust her? Others see in her just the same thing that attracted you.
Can she trust you? She knows other women are nearer to you.
Suspicion pops up all over the place like a game of whack-a-mole.
Too long a short silence triggers insecurity.
Absence makes the heart grow sicker.
Being alone (single, for-real single instead of long-distance-relationship single) starts to seem easier.
You physically ache inside.
Perfectly unreasonable resentments undermine mutual professions of love.
You start to doubt whether the wait... is worth the wait.
The gulf between peaks of companionship and troughs of separation is mind-boggling, depressing in itself...

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

When I Die

After I die, I will probably be remembered as a moody introvert, even if I want to be thought of as a quiet but passionate-in-an-understated way kinda guy. Those that will remember me anyhow will eventually forget or die first. Either way all memory of me will cease.

I accept that. Sad as it is, my life is all I have, and once I lose that, I will have no capacity to worry about whether and how I am remembered.

When I die, cry if you must. But invite no crowds to my burial which did not attend my life. Waste no prose on me in the name of a eulogy or an obituary. Save the coffin money. Dump my cloth-wrapped corpse in the hole and pile the dust atop it. I will not mind or care, lacking the knowledge of all things.

But I yet live. Regrets of my past choices tug at me even now, darkening my countenance with clouds of worry and doubt. I plead to GOD's grace and mercy that the rest of my life shall be full of truth, full of purpose, full of love, this is my prayer.

The esteem of men is fickle and deceptive, a preoccupation for fools.

The favor of GOD, that is life.