Sometimes I can't bear to hear myself defending the truth. God knows I've contradicted myself too many times, drinking other than what I was preaching when my self-interest entered the picture.
Sometimes, even though there is a
second chance, I hesitate to take it; self-conscious of past failure, and weak.
Sometimes, a believer comes to that place where they confuse their faith with a heavy burden. Many also are mockers quick to review decisions made in faith with a sneer of contempt.
Still, the truth is such that it demands to be expressed, expounded, lived. It's real. If I keep it quiet in my heart it burns, it pokes at the conscience. I find myself fighting to conceal the truth within. It would be easier to forget it, kill the conscience, move on; except that I would know it was a lie.
It's not every day that the truth wins that battle over my ego. Still, the war continues.
From watching my friends, I know that killing the conscience is the first step down the downward spiral of depravity. A dead conscience opens the door to insensitivity bordering on insanity. Lies pile on lies every day, until truth is entirely lost sight of, and self-destruction looms ever larger.
Unfortunately, today's world seems to require a dead conscience, or one on life support. You can see it in the movies and mass media, where some sort of compromise is aggressively sold.
Stand for truth. Pray for courage to do it.