Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Frustrated Parents

I know; sometimes, parents can be a real turn-off to think about. But think about it: parental frustration is a widespread disease that threatens to tear apart the social fabric at the family level.

As a generation, Our values are not our parent's values; in fact, our generation rejects their morality as "utiaji." They grew up in a less favorable era and many who have made it had to strive from harsh background against stacked odds to get to where they are today. They look at us, we who are spoon-fed since childhood and have learned to expect everything easy - and they just weep inside. They look at our fashion, music videos and choice of friends and wonder "where we are headed in life" - (they like that phrase). Parallel value sets cannot sustain relationships. Thing is, our parents see this mismatch between their generation and ours - and a frustrated and panicked parent attempts to resolve the impasse by throwing the rulebook at the deviant kid. And the kid rebels the more. Here comes more frustration both sides.

Today, consumerist culture exclusively regards parents in their role as breadwinners first and foremost - the people to aim advertisements at. To hell with life lessons, get me a PS3. In other words, we value them to the extent that they can buy us things, educate us, feed us, house us. And while they feel the obligation to provide for their children, our parents certainly do not feel the appreciation for it, taken for granted as they are. Combine this with all the sacrifices they undertake and you can see why they are not just frustrated but also bitter. Lord knows the rat race ain't no weekend derby. And for what?

Increasingly, our peers and mass media misinformation are stronger influences on our lives and choices than our parents. Think about the growing boarding school enrolment rate. Is it really in the interest of a fine grade or a quiet house? No, really, though our parents love us with that instinctual love that's bound to come with raising a child, but in the face of piling obstacles, how far can unrequited love go?

Let us talk. The rift exists.

The generation gap today has evolved into a mostly invisible but real phenomenon that is widening fissures in societies today. There has been a generation gap throughout history, but today it is a bigger threat to the family. Culture is dead at the altar of consumerism, and its values are shortly to die of asphyxiation.

To quote Wailing Souls (song: "Shark Attack")

Better stop this cultural diffusion
spreading fear and confusion
Playing cloak and dagger wars
Losing what you fighting for

Back back, coming with a double attack
Step back, here comes the shark attack


  1. Hi untonyto!

    This interesting subject is something of a constant in life. Of course, in this time where information and globalization have comprised the diameter of the world, it seems working with a high virulence.

    Fortunately, I can hear and learn about many things from two generations before mine. My grandparents are alive and I heard most of the time the fast retreat they are making from the, so called, new ideas. My parents are not retreating, yet, but there is that problem of adjustment which will end in the letting things go their own way.

    The most interesting point in this triangular relation is that my grandparents blame my parents for the slack way things went for their, my parent's generation. And my parents blame both WWI and WWII for the big changes in the world, especially after the baby bloom in USA. But tis is in USA, where already in 1946 up to now, the idea of "freedom" came opening the gates to ways of thinking, as in the so many times mentioned sexual freedom, especially
    since "the pill" liberated women from their so much dreaded undesired pregnancy.

    This was not the only one "liberty" that were discovered during the '60s. Psychology found out that it was a "wrong" way to rear children punishing them by "physical maltreatment", so parent should be expert psychologist to teach their offspring to behave. School personal was forbidden to touch the students, and so on. The idea was to let the child develop his or her own understanding of the good and the evil, a sort of renewing the eating of the apple.

    All these things brought up the lack of responsibility we can see nowadays in the world.


    (It follows in the next comment, cannot use only one).

  2. (This is the following of a previous comment)

    There are as many theories as theorizers are there on our hapless planet.

    My opinion is that USA is a between brackets nation. There is a country on the East Coast, there is another country, although similar on the West Coast, and there is a very different country, almost not known by the world in general, between these two brackets.

    On the Coastal countries is where all those '60s theories had a beachhead and they were exported from there. The Central country kept old customs, and you now find that this USA is the most prejudiced, segregative place on the world, despite the proclamation of freedom we hear daily from them.

    The preeminence of USA in the world let export their "free" way of life, even to places where they do not wanted it!

    It is supposed Americans are so naive, they think that their way of life, even the American Dream, is so good it must be disseminated all overt the Earth (this is not a new theory: Romans, Greeks, Tartars, Huns, et al, did the same) although the real idea is to rule the world.

    The bottom line of this is that the way of understanding freedom as debauchery, and use of it as we like, with no respect for the rest of humankind took us into these new customs you mention.

    Maybe it is for good, I cannot see the future, only I think that if two generations think that their successors are wrong but the world was not destroyed as it was predicted, maybe there is something good in it!

    Moreover, history tends to repeat itself: when Greeks were stoic soldiers they won the world, when they fall into dissipation, a new caste of stoic soldiers, the Romans, defeated them, but in between all this dissipation there was a great develop of Philosophy that pervaded the Roman culture.

    When Romans fall into dissipation, too, Barbarians stoic soldiers vanquished them but they, Romans, left the best work on human rights.

    My work makes me travel a lot, I am finding that stoic attitude in some places of the Asian South East, and in South America. I cannot speak of Africa since it is a continent my work is not too common so I have traveled to very few places there.

    In a small nutshell: you receive the heritage from the "winners" on a war, but Nature still have its last word!

    Search in your society preferences and see how much of ownership you found in their customs and how much has been "imported" under the name of "Freedom".

    Sorry for the length of this comment, but it is not possible to say this in only two words. As you wrote: Let us talk, the rift exists, should be reach the span with bridges or should we break contact and let the future to take care of itself?

    Thank you for this post it is very interesting!

    1. Hello Untony!
      Your comment was long but also very informative and therefore forgivable!

      I like the fact that you have been able to draw the argument away from my critical-normative perspectives to a more balanced reasoned factual analysis. I'll admit I can get overzealous, so I often lack that.

      I beleive spanning the bridge is a better solution that breaking contact, based on the conviction that societies pass down their knowledge from generation to generation. In the interest of vitality and variety of world cultures, the generation should heal the rifts between them.

      I also contend that healing this rift will require the rejection of Western culture, which, really, is not an organic culture like others are, but is a construct bent to serve the interests of capital. What do you think?

      Thanks for commenting Untony!

    2. Thank you for your understanding about the length of my comment. I am prone to extend my writings, Stephen King used to say he wanted to write short tales but that when he started, the story went on until it was a novel, this is similar to what is happening to me, unfortunately, this is the only similarity, there is nothing in me near the talent of Mr. King! :)

      Maybe the reason of my wide looking on the world is due to my extensive traveling, after a time living into other cultures one learns that there are many good things everywhere, and people are not that different if you look close enough.

      No doubt bridging the generation gap is the ideal solution, unfortunately, ideal situations are not real. I have not children but I realize that it would be impossible to rear them in the way I was reared. First, in my time there was no technology around and second the ideas of "conquering" the world, in the sense of becoming a honest and useful person have changed so radically, it would be preposterous to try those old means of life nowadays.

      So, here we are again in the same boat our ancestors found themselves years ago!

      When you look superficially on the problem, it seems there is no a global solution, but here is where I said, Nature has the last word. We have many, many different cultures in the world and from my viewpoint, of course, we must not reject any one of them because in that way we are breaking the pieces of the puzzle we try to build humankind with.

      The way to get a serious outcome seems to be integration. Oh, I know! It is not easy, when we find a piece of the puzzle that is different from us, we try to bend, warp or even cut it to conform the size and shape we judge right, but then we have changed that puzzle piece into anything but its real self.

      The only way to reduce the gap, then, looks so simple that it may be called silly, only it is the most difficult way: we must to start to conform our outer form, our outline, to make the union possible. But, of course, it must be done by the two puzzle pieces, it is no use if one of them makes the effort to reach the other and find a rock firm attitude that do not accept to be part of the game.

      Mark you, I am talking about the outline of each of us, not the inner core which is our self, although this last is possible if you find there are reasons to reach that stage.

      I was raised in a Celtic environment, then with no warning I was transplanted to a raw Western culture, far away from my most inner convictions. I was lucky to find people who could understand my predicament and helped, changing them their attitude toward me, and helping me to change my most hard contact toward them. After that I started to travel, and found that I could modify my outer cultural garment to agree with most of the different places I lived on.

      So I know it works. But...

      This is a big BUT: this way of life brings up a lot of casualties, we are witness of the turmoil the world lives in. The only thing that seems good is that history shows us that even after all that a small flower is born from the mud and the manure.

      I know you may think I am a silly romantic that still believe in Santa Claus, but incredible as it seems, that is my experience. I know that sometimes evil seems to take control of the world, but as I told you a couple of time, Nature has the las word, always. And that is the good news!

      Any other way to "force" a solution to this problem ends in more casualties, more despair and more deaths, without changing anything!

      Thank you for asking my opinion. I do not know if I have answered your question.

      It is a very controversial subject.


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