Confession: I play soccer obsessively.
My best friend (or is it former best friend) recently helped me to accept this. I bragged to her about travelling all the way from Bungoma to Kisumu just to play a soccer match, and she responded with "You're nursing an addiction."
Big deal.
The other week, between trips to Western Province, which I will blog about soon, I discovered a new soccer team right in the heart of Kisumu City. My joy at being permitted to train with them can not be adequately conveyed. You should have seen my smile. It was a breath of fresh air as I had outgrown my former soccer mates (I had always been older than the majority of them but my few agemates got jobs and ladies so...) I shifted teams.
Indeed I may be nursing a self-destructive addiction to soccer but this subjective phraseology won't bother me much. I have realised that I'm happiest when I'm playing soccer; not even as happy when I'm watching professionals playing it. Five to six o'clock pm has become the highlight of my day and my focus from waking moment onwards.
The danger is that this fascination could blind me to other aspects of my life I should be pursuing. Like the job search thing. Of late I have resigned myself to the idea that anyone who gets a job is either lucky, well-linked or legendary. After this thought I shrug and pull on my boots. Any twinges of guilt about taking life for granted will be dealt with as I dribble nimbly and flit-footedly between the bodies of worthy opponents.
Afterwards I'm so tired I do not think too much about my social, professional or even economic life (or death).
Now that's what I call a comfort zone.
*whistle blows*
Sometimes we need to get out of those comfort zones in order to branch out further. At least you are aware of your situation as many people would not see what is happening in their life.
ReplyDeleteJobs are very hard to come by, and I see what you mean here, but don't give up. Keep pursuing you goals (sorry for the pun) and don't give up. The longer you put if off the harder it will become.
Nice Post.
'whistle blows'
Thanks, Rum-Punch Drunk, for concrete advice. Well in.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is just something that you need to do for now, and enjoy it. Eventually you'll get the job that you want...but it the meantime you're getting great exercise for your body, staying healthy, and hopefully playing soccer keeps away depression and anxiety. Just enjoy it for now---all the other stuff will fall into place in time!
ReplyDeleteAnd now thank you menopausal mama for posting some encouragement! I will certainly balance your advice with Rum-Punch Drunk's. The middle way.
ReplyDelete